Impacting on Children's Lives

Andrew, age 8 Last year my mum and my dad didn't like each other anymore and they kept shouting at each other. I was upset 'cause I didn't like it when my dad went away. Me and mum both cried, and dad did. I wanted to talk to dad but it was too hard. Then my mum went to talk to some people. She said they were very nice, and my mum asked me if I wanted to talk to them as well and I said "okay" but I was a bit scared. I talked to the man about all the things I was thinking about, like when I didn't like it when grandma and granddad made me take swimming lessons and have a maths tutor. I went to see the man 3 times to talk about all the things that make me upset. I said it was okay for the man to tell my mum about the things. Then mum talked to dad and grandma because I was scared. After we had all talked I felt like it was better.

Becky, age 17 When mum and dad split up seven years ago my twin sister and I stayed with mum but we saw a lot of dad at weekends and evenings. We like seeing him and we get on well with his new wife. Since GCSEs and now A-levels we've seen less of him. We also spend more time with friends and on the Internet. Dad used to get all moody about this, blaming mum and shouting at her. We got upset and couldn't get dad to understand. Mum phoned Keep Talking - they went there for mediation when they first split. A counsellor talked to us and then to dad my sister and I with dad. It was much easier to get him to listen to us there and the counsellor helped us all to see things from each other's viewpoints. Dad's happier now and we can sort things out before they get out of hand.

Colin, age 10 I hated it when mum and dad argued and were nasty to each other but I hated it more when mum got a new house and we moved out. I hated it when dad got a new girl friend and that she was always there when we went to stay with dad. I hated my life. I went with mum to Keep Talking. First mum and the lady kept talking and I played with the toys and listened to them. When I got used to the lady I talked to her as well. My brothers and my sister came with us some times and dad went to see the same lady by himself. I don't hate my life any more.

David, age 7 It was scary when daddy was poorly. He said he was poorly 'cause mummy didn't want to be with him anymore. He drank lots of beer and didn't make any food and said horrible things about mummy when I visited him. One day he took lots of tablets and went to hospital. When he came out mummy didn't let me visit him. She said he didn't look after me properly. Mummy went to a place to talk about it and one day she took me there as well. I said to the man and mummy that I wanted to see daddy again and I missed him. Then mummy and daddy went to the place to talk about it and now I see him again.